Rastaman going to Heaven
by Wellesley
Spiritual or not, this is another cracker...thanks Carolyn. A Jamaican Rastaman dies and is on his way to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. But the gates begin to close as Ras approaches the gatekeeper... St. Peter said, 'Well, you seem to be in the wrong place as I don't seem to have you on my list, but as there is such a crowd behind you and it would cause such a disruption I will give you an entrance examination if you pass it I will let you in. OK? The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven. "Fair enough", said the dread, ""I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was" . St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, but the test is only three questions. Here they are: First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? 'That one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow.' The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you credit for that answer. Second: How many seconds are there in a year? asked St. Peter. How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder,' replied ras, 'but I think about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve.'Astounded, St. Peter said, 'Twelve? how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?' Well it got to be twelve he replied: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd... 'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter. 'I see where you are going with this, and I see your point, though that was not quite what I had in mind....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too. Third: What is God's first name?' well 'Sure,' he replied, with a big grin . . 'it's Andy!' 'Andy?' exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter. 'I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?' 'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all, When I used to go to church I would hear them sing ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said: 'Run, man, run!!!'
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