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Boy and a Nurse

by Shantelle Ward
-A friend sent this to me

Boy goes for blood test. Nurse takes the sample but can't find cotton so she sucks his finger! Boy is so happy he asks: Can I get a urine test also?

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Car Crash joke

A lady crash in a man driving a car an told the police dis:
Lady:Mawning offica
Officer:Mawning Maam
Lady:I'm here to report an accident
Officer:talk Maam
Lady:Offica, mi seh mi a come enuh, and wen mi realise di man a come 2, mi start blow di man, an all di blow mi a blow di man, him still come inna mi.
Officer:Lady it luk like a sex argument u a talk bout.
Lady:No offica, but luk how di man mash up di whole a mi front

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Jamaican Joke entitled "BRRRRAAAAM BRRRAAAAM"

by Flint
(Miramar, Florida, USA)

Courtney was recently married to Elsie and was having some problem consummating their marriage.

She increasing became more demanding. He tried everything he could think of...Irish Moss, Stout and Egg, Oats and Strong Back..You name it...But just could not rize to the occasion....

She loved her husband dearly and wanted to get on with starting a family, but grew more and more frustrated with the situation.

One night in bed, she told him, "Darling mi luv yuh..but mi caaan tek dis nuh more...If yuh cum home tomorrow and caaan mek luv to me..dat will be di end of us."

All night long Courtney did not sleep a wink, he stared at the ceiling fretting about losing his wife.

The next day at work he was not able to concentrate on his job and his friend Herbie passing by his office noticed how frustrated he looked and decided to pop his head in and see what was wrong with his old friend.

"Boss a weh duh yuh mek yuh look suh? at first he did not answer but just had a blank stair on his face.Herbie knowing his friend from high school knew something was wrong and suggested.."Weh evva a badda you will pass, mek wi guh out guh have lunch and tek yuh mind off tings.."

Courtney agreed and they went out to have lunch. He ordered a Red Stripe to go with his tripe and bean. One beer led to another and before you know it his tongue became loose and he began to tell his friend about his predicament.

"Cho replied Herbie...yuh nuh have nooo problem, mi know one man name Dickie weh can fix yuh gween carse yuh USD100."

He got the address from Herbie and decided to immediately go see this Mass Dickie. When he drove into the yard he saw these bamboo poles with all different colour flags and a man in a colorful long robe with matching head wrap.

"Good afternoon he called out .. mi looking fi Mass Dickie , mi fren Herbie tell mi seh yuh cann help mi..."

The man greeted him and invited him into the house. As he sat down he noticed all the vials and the smell of incense burning in the room.

He explained his dilema to Dickie who shot up out of his chair and exclaimed......."Yuh nuh have nuh problem......Mi cure hebry ting.. A gween give yuh a bath and when yuh reach home. Yuh will have 3 chances fi dis fi wuk..when yuh waan it fi git up...say "BRRRAMM".. and when yu wannt it fi guh dung SEH "BRRRAM BRRRAM"

He paid Dickie and headed home..he was now sporting the biggest smile on his face.....BUT......suddenly his smile went away.. "How do I know seh dis ting work? What if when mi reach home a samfie Dickie Samfie me?.."" he asked himself. "A betta try it out.. aftarall , a 3 chances mi have.."

BRRRAAAM he said and suddenly he was so energized it burst his zipper...""WOW"" He thought...""Mi gween kill ELSIE when mi reach home."""

A few blocks from his home , he stopped at the Red Light and a Rasta Bredren on a S-90 motor bike pulled up next to him...'BRRRRAAAAAM ".THE DRED REVVED HIS BIKE MOTOR...and there again........BAMMMMM...........AT ATTENTION.As the light changed and the bike began to pull off ..BRRRRAAAM, BRRRRAAM......and it was gone as soon as it came...

He arrived home and Elsie had just started dinner...."Tunn aff di stove mi luv , a gween tek care aff mi in thhe bed room and tek aff yuh clothe..

Elsie all excited now instantly did as her hubby demanded. He came in the room naked, stood in front of her and said...BRRRRAAAM.........Elsie , unsure of what was happening quickly remarked to her husband..

"Massa a wah kinda BRRRRAAM BRRRRRAAMM DIS???????............ (lol, lol, lol)

Flint/ 2011

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chinese couple

by kimone smith
(Kingston Jamaica )

A Chinese couple gave birth to a black baby
husband ask,"why black baby?"
wife say,"you hot, me hot, intimacy tun up, so the baby bun up,"

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