Hilarious and Hysterical
Jamaican Jokes

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This mini forum captures some of the most hilarious and comical Jamaican jokes around, no doubt!

And what is making it different is the interaction. The forum is already burning up!

Here are some of the BEST JOKES SUBMITTED.

And YOU, yes you, can submit your original jokes or Jamaican trivia too! Others will be able to rate and/or comment on it, all for the FUN!

Now, how about one from me? :-)

I'll share this one, sent to me from Karen, my friend and former co-worker at a popular resort in Montego Bay. This is for all the true Jamaicans in the diaspora! [Thanks Karen]:

People will know you are Jamaican if...

You can't say "three" or "thing" ... you instead say "tree" and "ting".
You can distinguish between "cocoa-tea" "bush-tea", and "green-tea".
When someone sympathizes with you, you comment "Yuh tink seh it easy?"
You say words like Heg (instead of Egg); Hingland (instead of England)
You point with your lips.
You give directions with your hands, even if it is in another state.
You go to parties for the food and drink and then cuss after wards when the food and drink run out.
You address all the Chinese at the local shop as "Mr. Chin" or "Ms Chin".
You nod your head upwards to greet someone.
You always find yourself standing next to plenty of luggage and boxes at the airport.
When you travel home, you bring an extra suitcase going down, it has none of your clothes; returning, it has food.
You hate to throw away empty containers as they might come in handy for pepper sauce or "green seasonings".
You have one big pot you call curry pot when you are not even cooking curry.
You have another pot you called "dutch pot".
You say "bwoy" at the beginning of a sentence and "man" at the end of it.
You always hang something on your rear view mirror.
You put pepper sauce on everything for the taste.
You think eating ackee and saltfish, plantain and fried dumplings are a great morning breakfast.
You can't go a week without a rice dish.
You chew and suck out all the marrow from the chicken bone and then pick out your teeth after wards.
You bring home food from a party (enough for your breakfast the next morning, your lunch and your dinner!)
You chew the ice when you finish your drinks.
You must put dumplings in all soups.
You show disapproval by sucking your teeth.
You have a dishwasher in the house and only use it for special occasions.
You have a thyme (or mint) bush growing somewhere in your yard.

Here also are some of the most hilarious jokes shared by others like you.

Now send me yours...It's easy!

Click Here Now and Share Your Best Joke

Remember that, not only will others rate your submission, they will also comment on it!

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It's all about the fun.
Just promise me you'll keep it clean, right?

And by the way, my other site visitors will truly appreciate it.

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Jamaican Jokes Submitted By Others Like You.

Click below to see other jokes and trivia shared by my other dedicated site visitors.

Memba When (Remember When) - Jamaican Joke
I got this one from Bro T via WhatsApp yesterday and I couldn't wait to share it with you. Love it! It is especially true to those who were born …

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Hold on to your seats, this is a thriller! My uncle Toney shared it with me recently. True or not true, I am not sure, but is is hilarious! A Jamaican …

Double Decker Bus (Joke)
True story: I was in London, England in 1998 and boarded a double decker bus. I was so lucky I got a seat immediately. The bus drove off and stopped …

The Jamaican and his co workers (Joke)
One day, a Jamaican gentleman walked into his job of many years with both his ears bandaged up. Yes, his ears! Curious, the co workers asked "Hey …

5 Jamaicans On A Plane (Joke)
An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger said, “I am Usain Bolt, the fastest man …

The Jamaican And The Scientist Joke
Another good one - shared by a co-worker. Here goes... A scientist and a Jamaican were traveling on a plane. The scientist begins to brag about how …

Only Real Jamaicans (Joke)
Only Real Jamaicans... This is a another thriller - Jamaicans will understand this a bit more though. Ok, Ready?... Only real Jamaicans …

Diary of A Jamaican who moved to North Dakota (Joke)
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Jamaican 'Smart' Jokes - funny
Spiritual or not, this is another cracker...thanks Carolyn. A Jamaican Rastaman dies and is on his way to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates …

Jamaican Adult Jokes
Boy goes for blood test. Nurse takes the sample but can't find cotton so she sucks his finger! Boy is so happy he asks: Can I get a urine test …

Jamaican and a Trinidadian
Courtesy of Sherda Davis: A Jamaican and a Trinidadian, waiting at the pearly gates, strike up a conversation. How did you die?' the Trinidadian …

The Jamaican Man and the Genie
Courtesy of Marie (Sassy) Thanks Marie! A Jamaican man was walking along the banks of a river when he stumbled upon an old empty bottle. He picked …

Jamaicans in Heaven
This is a real thriller, thanks Nadeen. St. Peter came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, I have to talk to you. I have a problem. I know we didn't …

Wierd Jamaican jokes
Nobody can't tell me that Jamaican’s are not cell phone mad! I ran into an old friend last week. So I asked him to give me his cell number, and his …

The Jamaican death choice
Three men were sentence to death, one was an Englishman, one an American and one a Jamaican, on the day they were to die they ask the Englishman how he …

Dentistry - Jamaican style (Joke)
Very funny, you'll love it. Ronald, one of my ardent subscribers, sent this one to me via email and I really cracked up. I really needed this one at the …

Drunken Ralph Joke
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter …

Jamaican and Barbadian
A Jamaican moved to Barbados and bought a donkey from an old Barbadian (Bajan) farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next …

Work Ethic in Jamaica
This one was shared with me by my 'ole' pal, Andrea Scott. The population of Jamaica is 2.7 million. 1 million are retired. That leaves 1.7 million …

Jamaican Philosophy (Joke)
Four Jamaicans were sitting around a campfire near the beach. They were all philosophizing on what was the fastest thing in the world. Seymour said, …

Are Jamaican marriages legal in the U.S.A.? Not rated yet
Are Jamaican marriages legal in the U.S.A.? The answer is YES! Every country has a marriage act which governs the institution of marriage which is legal …

Joke - who is following you Not rated yet
There was this little boy whose mother took him and his friend to school every morning about a block away. One day his mother realizes that another …

Biggest Jamaican showoff (Joke) Not rated yet
Jamaicans heading to England on a boat in 1959 departed out of Kingston docking in Portland before heading out to sea. The passengers including my …

Crazy Jamaican Jokes Not rated yet
Some american soldies were having a training session with some Jamaican soldiers at twickenham park in St. Catherine. At the end of the day they all gathered …

Click here to write your own.

Cynical Jamaican Jokes Not rated yet
One night a man was was relaxing watching TVJ (local TV station) when out of the kitchen came his wife with a pan --BOOF!-- "a who name Holly?" asked the …

Click here to write your own.

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About The Author

A patriotic Jamaican who adores his culture, Wellesley has been using this medium to share what he calls 'the uniqueness of Jamaica with the world' - since April 2007.

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