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Only Real Jamaicans (Joke)

by My-Island-Jamaica.com

Only Real Jamaicans...

This is a another thriller - Jamaicans will understand this a bit more though.

Ok, Ready?...


  • Only real Jamaicans put crazy baby powder pon dem pickney (baby) neck after dem bathe dem! fresh wi seh!

  • Only real Jamaicans say 'headtop', 'footbottom', 'neckback', 'handmiggle', 'nosehole'

  • Only real Jamaicans live in another country for 50 years and never lose their accent

  • Only real Jamaicans will say that gas is the reason for any pain and tea is the cure. "mi foot a hot me!", "drink some tea... a gyas."

  • Only Real Jamaicans turn up @ a party at 1 a.m. an know seh it a done 2am an den cuss bout wah kinda foolinish dat an dem jus reach...

  • Only Real Jamaicans have friends weh name "BIGGZ" "POOCHIE" "BROWN MAN" "MR CHIN" "MACHIZ" "BLACKS" "DRIVER" "JUICEY" "CREAMY"etc

  • Only real Jamaicans rub white rum while sick and put vicks in them nosehole

  • Only real Jamaicans can have phone conversations with sound effects like "Ehheeeeeh, mhhm , ehhh ! , yuh tuh lie ! awoah, mi raw"

  • Only real Jamaicans know that 'soon come' means anything but that.

  • Only real Jamaicans know that "foreign" is just one country .... maybe two

  • Only real Jamaicans call pomegranate, ponganot.

  • Only Real Jamaicans are NEVER done talking when we say, "mi done talk!"

  • Only Real Jamaicans Alphabet --Hay, B, C, D, Hee, Hef, Gee, Hayitch, Hi, J, K , Hel, Hem, Hen, Ho, Pe, Q, Har, Hes, T, U, V,W, Hex, Y, Z




Editor's note:

DWL - Dying with laughter, woooii :-)

Jamaicans, don't take this too serious now, it is just for the fun OK :-)

So what do you think of this list? Is it complete? Is it true? Any new additions?

Click Here to add as a comment.

Comments for Only Real Jamaicans (Joke)

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Jan 14, 2018
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Jamaican Jokes
by: Miss Dups

Because I'm Jamaican I enjoy these jokes. Only one problem is that these jokes make Jamaicans look uneducated. Maybe they should be called Jamaican country boy jokes, or something like that.

Dec 27, 2017
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Hilarious
by: Anonymous

Woiii a caah laugh

Nov 05, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar
jamaican jokes
by: alicia

I laughed until I started to choke

Mar 06, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar
fi real
by: dj stylze

me a crack up woiii

Jan 21, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar
freshhh
by: @djweezytaylor

Only jamaicans put the small pieces of soap together n use it bathe "wah freshhh suh"

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A patriotic Jamaican who adore its culture, Wellesley has been using this medium to share what he calls 'the uniqueness of Jamaica with the world' since April 2007.  

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