Hilarious and Hysterical
Jamaican Jokes
This mini forum captures some of the most hilarious and comical Jamaican jokes around, no doubt!
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Now, how about one from me?
I'll share this one, sent to me from Karen, my friend and former co-worker at Sunset Beach Resort. This is for all the true Jamaicans in the diaspora![Thanks Karen]:
People will know you are Jamaican if...
- You can't say "three" or "thing" ... you instead say "tree" and "ting".
- You can distinguish between "cocoa-tea" "bush-tea", and "green-tea".
- When someone sympathizes with you, you comment "Yuh tink seh it easy?"
- You say words like Heg (instead of Egg); Hingland (instead of England)
- You point with your lips.
- You give directions with your hands, even if it is in another state.
- You go to parties for the food and drink and then cuss after wards when the food and drink run out.
- You address all the Chinese at the local shop as "Mr. Chin" or "Ms Chin".
- You nod your head upwards to greet someone.
- You always find yourself standing next to plenty of luggage and boxes at the airport.
- When you travel home, you bring an extra suitcase going down, it has none of your clothes; returning, it has food.
- You hate to throw away empty containers as they might come in handy for pepper sauce or "green seasonings".
- You have one big pot you call curry pot when you are not even cooking curry.
- You have another pot you called "dutch pot".
- You say "bwoy" at the beginning of a sentence and "man" at the end of it.
- You always hang something on your rear view mirror.
- You put pepper sauce on everything for the taste.
- You think eating ackee and saltfish, plantain and fried dumplings are a great morning breakfast.
- You can't go a week without a rice dish.
- You chew and suck out all the marrow from the chicken bone and then pick out your teeth after wards.
- You bring home food from a party (enough for your breakfast the next morning, your lunch and your dinner!)
- You chew the ice when you finish your drinks.
- You must put dumplings in all soups.
- You show disapproval by sucking your teeth.
- You have a dishwasher in the house and only use it for special occasions.
- You have a thyme (or mint) bush growing somewhere in your yard.
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Your Favourite Jamaican Joke or Trivia
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Jamaican Jokes Submitted By Others Like You.
Click below to see other jokes and trivia shared by my other dedicated site visitors.
Cynical Jamaican Jokes 
Thanks for this one Brenton :-)
Only Real Jamaicans call the entire leg, 'foot', and the entire arm, 'hand'
Only Real Jamaicans put crazy baby …
Jamaican Adult Jokes
A Chinese couple gave birth to a black baby
:
husband ask,"why black baby?"
wife say,"you hot, me hot, intimacy tun up, so the baby bun up,"
Diary of A Jamaican who moved to North Dakota (Joke)
October 8th
We have arrived in America!!! Finally! This marks a new chapter in our lives. It's very nice here. It's a little cool, but who needs HOT weather? …
Wierd Jamaican jokes
Riding down to work from the top of Red Hills with my friend today, we saw a man and a woman on a bike.
I said to my friend, "J" what is she doing? …
Jamaican and a Trinidadian
Courtesy of Sherda Davis:
A Jamaican and a Trinidadian, waiting at the pearly gates, strike up a conversation.
How did you die?' the Trinidadian …
The Jamaican Man and the Genie
Courtesy of Marie (Sassy)
Thanks Marie!
A Jamaican man was walking along the banks of a river when he stumbled upon an old empty bottle. He picked …
Jamaicans in Heaven
This is a real thriller, thanks Nadeen.
St. Peter came to the Lord and said, 'Lord, I have to talk to you.
I have a problem. I know we didn't …
Jamaican 'Smart' Jokes - funny 
A British archeologist dug a hole 150 feet deep and found phone wires so he announced to the world that Britain had begun using the phone 150 years ago, …
The Jamaican death choice
Three men were sentence to death, one was an Englishman, one an American and one a Jamaican, on the day they were to die they ask the Englishman how he …
Crazy Jamaican Jokes
on day a man fell into a huge hole in the ground and the only thing that held him up was a piece of rope that he held on to with his teeth.
A passer …
Drunken Ralph Joke
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter …
Jamaican and Barbadian
A Jamaican moved to Barbados and bought a donkey from an old Barbadian (Bajan) farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next …
Work Ethic in Jamaica
This one was shared with me by my 'ole' pal, Andrea Scott.
The population of Jamaica is 2.7 million.
1 million are retired.
That leaves 1.7 million …
Jamaican Philosophy (Joke) Not rated yet
Four Jamaicans were sitting around a campfire near the beach. They were all philosophizing on what was the fastest thing in the world.
Seymour said, …
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