Jamaican Joke- 'Yu horse de pon di phone'

by Holly Allen
(Montego Bay, Jamaica)

One night a man was was relaxing watching TVJ (local TV station) when out of the kitchen came his wife with a pan --BOOF!-- "a who name Holly?" asked the wife.


"Mi jus see a paper eena yuh pocket wid di name 'Holly' pon it, WHO IS SHE?".

The man rubbing, rubbbing the back of his head, said "me and Richie did dung ah di racetrack tiddeh an dat is di name of di horse weh we bet pan, a wah duh yuh?!!".

So the wife apologized, kissed his head, and went back to her chores.

15 minutes later the wife storms out of the kitchen again --BOOF!! BAM!!

"A WHA DUH YUH?!!" shouted the husband, and the wife shouts back, "YUH HORSE DEH PON DI PHONE!!".

More Jamaican Jokes Here

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Your Jamaican Joke or Trivia.

2 face neighbour joke

by Howard
(Paterson, NJ, USA )

A man noticed that his neighbours daughter, a small child was looking at him excessively and was worried and puzzled as to the reason. The child wouldnt let up just following around the yard looking at him. He couldnt take it any longer and so in a very crude voice snapped," a whey yuh a luk pah so fah picney!!!". The child frightened in her step, remarked,"mamma seh yuh ave 2 face under 1 cap sar.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Your Jamaican Joke or Trivia.

Joe returns to Jamaica (Joke)

by Admin
(Jamaica)

Joe in Office

Joe in Office

Joe grew up in Jamaica, then moved to the USA to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to Jamaica because he felt he could be a Big Shot at home.

He really wanted to impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law office in New Kingston. The first day, he saw a man coming up the passageway. He decided to make a big impression on this potential client when he arrived.

As the man came to the door Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.

"No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."

The "conversation" went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled off instructions.

Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man, "I'm sorry for the delay but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied, "I'm from Cable & Wireless, the telephone company, I came to hook up your phone.
Lol - DWL


Share YOUR Jamaican joke or Read Other Jokes Here.

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Your Jamaican Joke or Trivia.

What are the three things Jamaicans do FAST?

by Windy Picasso
(Spokane Washington,US)

And ANOTHER cool Jamaican, Droopy

And ANOTHER cool Jamaican, Droopy

EAT......DRIVE......TALK !!
Everything else.. "Just COOOL" (lol)

Click here to read or post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Your Jamaican Joke or Trivia.

Only a real Jamaican....

by Admin

Thanks for this one Brenton :-)




Only Real Jamaicans call the entire leg, 'foot', and the entire arm, 'hand'

Only Real Jamaicans put crazy baby powder pon dem pickney neck after dem bathe dem! fresh wi seh!

Only Real Jamaicans say headtop, footbottom, neckback

Only Real Jamaicans live in another country for 50 years and never lose their accent

Only Real Jamaicans will say that gas is the reason for any pain and tea is the cure. "mi foot a hot me!", "drink tea... a gyas."

Only Real Jamaicans turn up @ a party at 1 a.m. an know seh it a done 2am an den cuss bout wah kinda? dat an dem jus reach...

Only Real Jamaicans have friends weh name "BIGGZ" "POOCHIE" "BROWN MAN" "MR CHIN" "INDIAN" "DRIVER" "JUICEY" "CREAMY" etc

Only Real Jamaicans rub white rum while sick instead of vicks

Only Real Jamaicans can have phone conversations with sound effects like " Ehheeeeeh , mhhm , ehhh ! , yuh tuh lie ! awoah

Only Real Jamaicans know that 'soon come' means anything but.

Only Real Jamaicans know that "foreign" is just one country .... maybe two

Only Real Jamaicans call pomegranate, ponganot.

Only Real Jamaicans are NEVER done talking when we say, "mi done talk!"

Only Real Jamaicans "Put it pon youchube"

Only Real Jamaicans Alphabet --Hay, B, C, D, He, Hef, Gee, Hich, Hi, J, K , Hel, Hem, Hen, Ho, Pe, Q, Har, Hes, T, Hugh, Ve, W, Hex, Hway, Z.

Editor
Thanks Brenton!

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Your Jamaican Joke or Trivia.

Like our Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/myislandjamaica
Follow us on Twitter https://twitter.com/myislandjamaica

Thanks For Reading!
Like What You Just Read?

Please join me in my effort to share the beauty and uniqueness of Jamaica with the world. You can do so by sharing this insightful narrative with your friends on the social media of your choice and ask them to do the same (BELOW). 

Great Articles You Might Have Missed

Need Help?

We have a cherry list of top Jamaican companies that might be able to help you. Please click here to see them, our preferred partners and site sponsors.

Get Exclusive Updates & Tips!

You are also welcome to join my special friends list and receive exclusive updates (like this), tips, trivia and stories from lovers of Jamaica!

facts about jamaica book icon

I'll Gift You A FREE COPY of my eBook, 101 Intriguing Facts About Jamaica - just for subscribing!

Just enter your email & name below:

copyscpe
Top Of Page
Wellesley Gayle

What's New? Click Here And See

New!  I've created a Welcome Audio. Just click the Play button below to listen.

Please subscribe here to get my latest updates.

SEARCH THE SITE



Site Sponsors

jamaica_click_down_here_visit_our_sponsors

Our Preferred Sponsors (below)

(Our Sponsorship Policy)

Luna Sea Inn
Luna Sea Inn Photographers in Jamaica
Wedding Photographers
Jamaican Souvenirs
Best Jamaican Souvenirs Cars For Sale In Jamaica
Cars For Sale

Click Here to Visit Our Sponsors' Page

Did You Miss These?

What's New?

Below is a list of the very latest articles I posted on the site.

Recent Articles

  1. Jamaican Mento Music - The Origins, The Style & Flavour, Plus A Video

    Apr 25, 17 11:49 PM

    Love Reggae? Chances are you'll adore Jamaican mento music as well, if not already. Here's the full scoop with a little video.

    Read More

  2. Internet Usage In Jamaica - Quick Stats & Figures

    Apr 24, 17 11:24 PM

    You might be alarmed! Internet usage in Jamaica is rapidly spreading out from the cities and into into the interior of the island. Here are the raw facts and figures.

    Read More

  3. JamaicApp - Sharing Jamaica on an App

    Apr 23, 17 11:07 PM

    You asked, we delivered! Yes, it's here, finally! JamaicApp - My-Island-Jamaica.com on an App! And the name? JamaicApp, a simple but slick merger

    Read More

  4. Jamaican Plantain - Fried, Baked, Grilled Or Even As Porridge - Have It Your Way

    Apr 23, 17 11:44 AM

    Ripe, green, fried, cooked, baked, grated, blended; this list speaks of the versatility of a mystery fruit - Jamaican plantain.

    Read More

Check Availability & 
Rates in Jamaica

Booking.com