MizFineThing - AKA Ja Diva (Government name Ecttel)
Alright get out your patois dictionary because you just might need it.
Boy oh boy where do i begin, i think I'll start at the beginning and work my way back.
Well it all started when my dad died and my aunt decided to guh get him two pickney dem inna Falmouth.
Mi bredda an myself neva wah leave Falmouth because dat was all wi know. Any way one buss lip later (mi auntie pop mi one in the mouth for back answering!!trust mi, mi born facety !!) an i was getting off di big ole country bus called Little Princess, in di country, Belvedere, Westmoreland to be exact.
The minute I got off the bus at RatTrap (yes that's the name of the district/ cross road, try nuh wear it out!!) I knew i was in for a warm time, lawd a massey, di pickney dem tek one look pon mi inna mi pedal pusher pants and decide dem need to test mi skills, needless to say i had to defend myself wid mi mout and rock stone a lot of time.
I did'nt get the name "Ole Teggereg" for nothing lmao!! My mantra in those days were, "a nuh mi start it!", Good times!!
Well, I haven't been back to Jamaica since 1995 when I came to Canada, (how appalling! if you want to sponsor me on a 1 week trip with me as your personal tour guide I will be happy to pack my bags, talk fast because mi Mat leave done October!!!!
NO MI NAH JOKE MI SERIOUS AS A JUDGE). Well i attended Kew Park All Age the land was donated by the James family, incidentally some of my worst nightmares were about TOM PULLEY POND in Kew Park; you could see it from the road, the biggest pond in Westmoreland, and it is said to be bottomless, only the very brave would walk up to it and stare in, especially with the MERMAID that is thought to inhabit it's depth.
Whoi! mi already seh to much bout it now mi cyaa sleep tonite!!
If you should ever get to RAT TRAP ask somebody (me) to take you to see the infamous TOM PULLEY POND.
Ok just a little bit of free assocition to finish up afta all a nuh book mi deh write. I remember when me an mi bredda Barry, cuz Dainty an Mickey use to put on wi long pants an climb Copse bush bush(yes two bush bush fi mek yuh know seh a real tanny wood) fi goh pick mango. Mi seh, some breed a mango, yuh dont even have to climb the tree, jus put up yuh han an pick mango.
As wi use to seh, mango suh till yuh coulda stone dawg (yes we actually use to stone mawga dawg, dawg nuh sleep inna wi bed, dem sleep anda house battam!!) mi also remembah di grass lice, red back an fine ticks dem!!!good times!
We had the only Mawmi mango tree in Belvedere and if any body dispute it an seh deh have one a fi dem yaad, dem a teif and next time dem seh please hole dawg, dem gwine get a big stone!!
I remember walking to Lambs River for the mail, driving to PISGAH for the best pineapples on earth, BANJAM BREADFRUIT if you can eat more than two, yuh craven more dan mi, nuff said.
BAMBOO-POPPING GUN with rose apple shot, Swinging on wiss in di bush until yuh knee and hands burn up, swimming naked in WASHING POND before going to get water on the cart at DRINKING POND, these bodies of water were so named because you SHALT NOT swim in Drinking pond and you shalt not drink the water from Washing pond.
The lore is that back in the days they use to wash dead people in Washing pond before dressing them( listen man i tell it how i get it!!) and moving on i remember walking through Cedar Grove to get to Bethel town and going to the river where we tried to catch crayfish.
I don't remember being successful at catching anything but a buss ass when we got back home all dirty and muddy!! I remember hopping the bankin to "get" cane hehehe!!
GARDEN PARTY at Christmas time we use to walk all the way to Seaford Town. Passing my grade nine achievement exam and going to Frome Tech then transferring to Herbert Morrison Tech in Mo Bay, going to Bluefields Beach and getting the best ROAST YAM AND FISH!
Moving across the island to Falmouth we use to swim at Burwood Beach, beach party every weekend , Wednesday market when we use to buy every ting fi look Trash an Ready, rollerblading at Skateland, wining up mi self at Palace, the "it" nite-club at the time after they shut down Blackie down in Racecourse, watching triple bill at the theatre, catching crabs with torch in the mangroves, paying 50 cents to look at alligator tied up on a handcart, Barracks School, Pan School (that reminds me that when i started Pan School which was an infants school at the time, they didn't have enough desks so my dad, had this man make me a desk for one person, i hope somebody remember this desk at Pan school and write about it!!)
Any way mi nuh gwine tarry, if yuh want to know more sponsor mi trip, mi husband would a really like dat. Deuces
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About The Author
A patriotic Jamaican who adores his culture, Wellesley has been using this medium to share what he calls 'the uniqueness of Jamaica with the world' - since April 2007.
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